Jake On Guard

Time Travel Back to the Flavors of 1960s, 1950s, 1940s

I used to waste a lot of time wishing that I could recapture the intense flavors and scents that I appreciated as a child of the 50s and 60s,  figuring that my senses have aged and dimmed. LIAR! It's not true for the most part.

How did I find out? I decided to sign on for home delivery of organic veggies and fruits biweekly. It's very reasonable. Imagine my astonishment when I realized that grapes now taste like grapes! Bananas taste like I was ten years old again. All the intensity of "real" flavors is like time-traveling back to my youth. I nearly cried with delight.

I'm not flying in the face of ordinary sensory aging that tells us that as we seniorize our 5 senses dim out somewhat. What I notice with my friends is that it is more obvious in one sense than the other ones. Hearing will become less focused but your sense of smell is still great OR you need cataract surgery but you can hear a fly land in the next room. For me it seems to be the sense of smell and taste that are less intense than I would wish them to be; however, organic foods really bring back the memories and flavors I have been sorely missing for nearly fifty years of grocery-store shopping.

For a beautiful and nostalgic trip through bygone decades, try organic food. You'll love the memories.

Tom Brokaw Explains Canada To Americans

Love it? Or list it? House Woes

 We're not talking about shopping here. Today everything stopped working. Quit. Defunct. Warranty is up so what the heck? Might as well just stop functioning and, or, break. Makes my mood muy dark.

Well, not everything.

My home is 9 years old. I moved in as its first owner. We've grown old together but man, this baby is outstripping me now! I look around and see that it badly needs painting. The cats have done a number on several walls (Please, could you just ask nicely to go outside and scratch the fence instead? I mean, really!) and baseboards are looking grungy too. How did that happen?

 When I retired I realized I would no longer be able to afford biweekly house cleaners so the job fell to me. Of course. One of us actually notices these things. But I digress. The house needs painting in every room except for one bedroom. The cats never used to venture there but just to conjure up another feline mystery, they both are loving that room lately and I know that by the time I can hire a painter that last bedroom will have claw marks on the lower walls also.

It's a litany of excuses. Predicated on timelessness while I was working and an attitude of seeing what I wanted to see, all of a sudden the following repairs need doing before my housie's 10th anniversary next year.

Aforementioned interior painting Bedroom horizontal blinds: adjustment-string is toast (ie the lift cord is frayed)
Two sinks need new drain hardware because they have rotted and gone who knows where, leaving an  unsightly hole where the stopper used to be
Cupboard, media room, garage and laundry room (ha ha--don't you love it? actually it's just extra space on the ground floor that is majorly UNfinished) need drywall specialists to finish them off, to love them, to suck out all that allergenic drywall dust and paint them
Washer and dryer are on their last legs--to be fair they both still function, sort of, but I noticed some of my neighbours are replacing theirs lately so I figure I'm next on that list
Upstairs toilet runs like a sieve. Noisily. I can barely sleep so it needs new guts
Kitchen counter needs new grout
Kitchen cabinets need new handles (thanks to Ex, that will probably happen soon)
Kitchen chairs and table need to be constructed. This living without a table nonsense is getting me down (since January)
Pergola crossbeam needs replacing (painters hired by complex wrecked it last year: geez, I thought I'd be nice and just wait for them to fix it but nooooooooooooooooooooo---I need to make a huge fuss to strata about it I guess)

And even small appliances are beginning to die!
toaster
flatiron for hair (I call it Smoking Joe but not affectionately)
fax/printer

Already replaced this year:

document scanner
laser printer
dishwasher
table and chairs (Ok, ok, the new ones will get built sometime. YOLO)

At the end of the day, this is a really nice community and I'm happy to be living here. I am merely flummoxed that so much and so many need repairs all of a sudden. Is the earth spinning more quickly this year or something?

5 Important Phrases YOU Need to Know 

We all need to converse sensibly with our offspring and especially with our teenaged grandkids whose sole raison d'etre is to "help" us with new technologies. Why not WOW them with your vocabulary? 

Personally, it doesn't matter whether I am BSing or actually have the goods, using current speech makes you one cool dude. 

1. Redact (ree DAKT) means edit

• You gather information from a number of sources on the same topic and write it in one article 
• Sometimes it means to obscure information for security reasons 
• Often used in the past tense 
• Moron et al redacted their comments on the inauguration from late night TV commentaries. 

  2. Amuse bouche -- (ah MOOS boosh)

• means a free, very small and often artistic hors d'euvre
• Free food you say? 
• At least that is the traditional meaning of amuse-bouche (these French words mean "fun in your mouth", basically)
• Now, however, it alludes to a quickie--first thing in the morning before work--that is a prelude to longer lovemaking to come! 

3. Jonesing for -- means crave, want it, need it

• I'm jonesing for a vanilla spice latte'
• probably doesn't hark back to keeping up with the proverbial Jones's

4. Cray-cray and Jelly -- means crazy and jealous

• You're going to Starbucks? I'm so jelly!
• Cray=crazy; cray-cray=really crazy (usually crazy in this sense means wild and wonderful) That movie was so cray

5. YOLO --- You Only Live Once

• Should I spend my whole allowance or save it? YOLO

My senior sources for this info were many and varied but personally, whenever I find something in print that is some new thing, I check out URBAN DICTIONARY first. It's not for the feint of heart, though.  

Call Me Phoenix

After death. Near death. Long tunnel with bright white light. Beckoning warmth and happiness. I'm not in poor health but I'm already starting to be beckoned toward a warm white light with a name. Its name is "retirement" and it seems amazing.

Long halcyon days of lying out on a lounger in the sun. Endless sunny skies with just one or two clouds. Oh, I could go on.

Finishing up that last year of paid employment prior to the huge financial challenges that retirement brings isn't really too swift if you're like me; not the best money planner in this life.

We've had fantasy dreams, you and I. Retirement beckons with its siren call and we advance willingly. Faith--we have it. Blind hope is what we've got. I know I'm not the only one who will absolutely love spending more time with my grandchildren and adult children. I have promised myself to learn how to sleep in and not feel guilty about watching daytime TV. I'll extend my computer hours with no regrets.

Remember when we were in our 20s and the we could do anything? ANYTHING. We could stay up all night and still party all day. I am going to stay up all night and sleep all of the next day. I am. How about you? Do you look forward to a retirement where you can sleep?

Sadly and truthfully most of us will have sublimated our own desires to practicalities for many (too many) years. We were accustomed to putting the wants and needs of others before our own wants and needs. So much so that it seems the norm. Call me Phoenix because I am going to rise from those selfless years and become a shimmering avatar of new discoveries.

I am starting small and diversifying from just two (I hesitate to call them goals because I hate that word) projects. First, I need to learn how to sleep in. I particularly need to learn how to wake up feeling calm. The next learning project for me will be time management on a weekly platform. You felt I might say financial management but that is just way too huge for me to attempt right now until I get the sleeping and weekly calendar into some kind of pleasing pattern.

Call Me Phoenix and watch me rise from the ashes of a highly routinized work week.

Senior Tech Tip: Online calendars really help. (I use the integrated Google calendar that you get for free when you sign up for your free gmail.) It's very easy to add events or appointments to your online calendar and you even get reminders, in your email, in advance. I admit to missing some medical appointments before I started using the Google calendar. 

Back Muscle Pain

Back Muscle Pain

Just like you, I make lists. Lists of all the things I hate to do just so that I will, actually, do them.
Today's list has 3 HORRIBLE entries.

1. Cat litter in garage (I know this sounds wimpy.) My cats have nuclear-powered posteriors and they are not fussy about where they leave their nondigital calling cards. They love blankets, pillows, pretty much anything that might have slipped down to the floor. They love clean laundry. 
2.  Power wash outside cement patio=day 3. I have to plan for more than one day for these types of tasks because after a very few moments, my lower back KILLS! I do persevere as long as I can stand the pain but apparently I "need" to take a rest and sit on my computer chair for half an hour at least. Anything less would just be pathetic. Oh, no! Wait! The pathetic part is me outside with the compressor-like power washer. It leaks. Will it electrocute me before the back patio is finished? Stay tuned to find out the exciting outcome. 
3. Clean the exterior of our 2 year old barbecue. Ya, it rains here quite a bit. I am going to try the ol' SOS trick (like a brillo pad with soap imbued) and then list it on Craigslist to go free to a new home. It's kinda just too big and ostentatious for us, especially since I don't really "do" the propane tank dealie. Could it blow? Could it blow in strong sunlight? Could it blow like right now? etc.

In order to help all of you, and all of me, I am linking to the first of several "back exercises for seniors". Maybe next year when I attempt to bag-up and neutralize the atomic feline damage in my garage OR de-moss my #usedtobegreynowgreen patio, my back will not be just disastrously painful.